Conflict Resolution

In this workshop, participants including myself came to terms with their personal conflict resolution styles. Some examples including conflict avoidant (one who avoids conflict at all costs), conflict harmonizing (one who is willing to compromise, even at the expense of others desires), and conflict collaborative (one that promotes open discussion for the interest of both sides). The pros and cons of each style were discussed, with a special emphasis on how collaboration is arguably the best way to settle conflict. 

Before this workshop, I had a difficult time handling conflict. I was someone who either avoided conflict completely, or neglected my own interests to please the other party. This made be avoidant and overly harmonizing. As a result, I would develop feelings of resentment for not being listened to despite the fact that I actively chose to ignore my needs for someone else's. One example of this would be during group projects in the past; I would go along with what everyone in the group was saying to avoid creating tension despite creating a clear disconnection amongst us.

From this workshop, I learned the skill of communicating with people that have different conflict resolution styles and how to guide them into a more collaborative discussion. For instance, someone who is aggressive in matters of conflict is concerned about not having their opinion respected or heard. To diffuse this, it's important to acknowledge that the person is being listened to and respected by offering insight and constructive criticism when needed. The ability to do this will allow more open discussions to keep going without delving into bitter arguments. 

One time during my job, I got an amazing opportunity to audition for a musical at a local community theatre. This, however, was at short notice and my boss at my former part-time job was understandably frustrated about that. 

Pre-BHLP self would've given up immediately, apologized, and work the shift without questions. However, I knew that would embitter me and breed negative feelings that could detriment the workplace. I made it clear to my boss that I was willing to work with him, such as covering a future shift for another employee and acknowledging his concerns. He ultimately reached a solution with me and I not only got to audition for the show, but I was also cast in it! Handling the conflict in a collaborative matter allowed us both to get a little of what we wanted.